Adapt

“No, he’s coming out with me. You guys don’t have sex anyway.” It was no surprise why this person successfully fails flawlessly in his relationships, lack of perspective perhaps?

Shane remained quiet waiting for the decision.

No Country for Old Men was a smash, we had such a nice time together. I savored the richness of our time. We went to some restaurant and topped off the evening with a glass of champagne and some appetizers. The evening was early and to be a nice wife, as usual, I vowed to let Shane join the dumpee. I lay whole heartedly in the way of the sharp jagged fangs of disappointment. 

Most women would put their foot down. I, on the other hand, put my husband’s happiness before my own. I allowed him to continue his lifestyle with no risk to responsibility or commitment to his family. Hence, my failure is my leniency. 

Shellie’s Proverb: A pot with food is no good without flame.

Meanwhile back at the cave, I turbulently disposed my displaced anger on the dumpster, he shot back, “You’re overreacting, so what he saw you calling and he didn’t pick up,” it was apparent why he was brilliantly single, “blame your husband for coming out.” I stopped in my tracks. He is precisely right! Shane is gregarious and very well respected, but the idea of marriage and family hasn’t come to fruition. My calls went ignored which ensued the release of the ferocious beast from within. I made sure Shane came out bruised with scratches as I grappled with the dark idea of divorce. I couldn’t see straight at two thirty in the morning.   

Mister Carr, Shane’s long time buddy, said it best, “Perhaps, this is something you pent up.” Brief and concise, he was smug, but precisely correct! It was true. I held it all in. Was I submissive all this time? I am a fools’ fool. I allowed him to gad about on his many boy trips of football, golf, snowboarding, boy time with not a phone call to me. 

I have prefaced my importance of these phone calls before, but I have gone days without a phone call. Any other, would have been butchered with a serrated knife, if they wore Shane’s shoes. Instead I greet him with a hug. In essence, he never had to face the wrath of a woman’s worry. I bottled my anger so beautifully deep, that Friday night just blew the mother ship wide open. He nor I never saw it coming.