Any Other Thursday

It started out as any other Thursday, taking my daughter to school, cleaning the house, playing outside with my son, and heading out to the gym. I was in my spinning class when my husband walked in to ask whether he was taking the kids home or should they wait for me. I motioned that he could take them and blew him a kiss, as I always do.

Moments later, as the instructor told us to push through the hill, someone came running in the door shouting my name. As the wheels around me moved in sequence, my life suddenly spun out of control. The woman crossed the room, grabbed my arm, and told me to come with her, that something had happened to my husband. My immediate thoughts were that he’d been in a car accident and how were the kids? She made it clear that the kids were fine and that it wasn’t an accident. As I tried to keep up with her, my mind was racing; my husband, my kids, should I go in the car with this woman? By the time I was able to answer any of these questions we were on our way. She then told me that they thought my husband had had a heart attack.

When we arrived on the scene it was like nothing I could’ve imagined. My mind was whirling as fast as the lights on the fire truck. I jumped out of the car and located the kids who appeared as confused as I felt. The two angelic-faced women taking care of the children calmly asked if they could take them over to the sidewalk to remove them from the chaos. They were so kind, ensuring that I would still be able to see them. Isn’t it funny, that even in absolute turmoil we still need reassuring?

Then my focus turned to the lifeless man, lying on the ground being administered CPR. Was that my husband? Clearly I was dreaming and I’d wake up any minute. With all these unthinkable images, I was interrupted with reality. After being held at a distance the police officer allowed me to go to him. I had only a few seconds to say everything, because at that moment I wasn’t sure I was going to see him again. To save my sanity, I had to hope. I said the most basic things, “I love you, the kids are fine, I’ll see you at the hospital.”