Behind Closed Doors

Where to begin is the question. I was married for twenty-five years. I met my husband when I was seventeen. We were married and had a son. At first I thought that he was just wild and would grow out of it. I was young and naive. I didn’t have parents growing up, they died when I was very little. My grandma raised me. I went straight from my grandmother to my husband. I was abused by my uncle when I was young, for protecting my grandma. I saw this all of my life, when my husband started hitting on me, I didn’t do anything about it because I was used to it anyway. The years went by I was hit, kicked, walked on, literally, spit on, had guns pointed at me, hair pulled out, squeezed, like bear hugged and choked just to name a few. I was accused of being unfaithful, which I always thought that was crazy because I wasn’t exactly that stupid to take that chance, first of all the risk of getting caught and more so why would I want another man in my life?  His story would take forever for me to tell, so I’ll move forward to the end. Over the last year things got really bad, I only had about two days a week of okay days, the rest were torture. The sound of him leaving for work was the best sound ever. My son is twenty-one and he came back home to watch over his mom. This worried me though because I didn’t want him to get hurt.  My husband started treating my son pretty bad, which did shock me because he was his joy in this world, he loved this boy so much. There was an incident to where he got arrested and was put on probation and mandatory counseling. He was diagnosed as being bipolar, but I believe that it was even more than that, but the doctors had no was if properly diagnosing him because he never told the whole story. He was on medication, it seem to help some. He decided to stop taking the meds, because he said they made him feel even, not up or down. This is how most people feel, but he didn’t like it. Two weeks before the end I thought that was my last day on this earth. I came home and I could just look at him and know this would be a bad day.