Can This Relationship Be Saved? (Part 1)

I frequently read’ the “Can This Marriage Be Saved?” column in the Ladies’ Home Journal. I find it comforting to read that other people are suffering from equally traumatizing problems and have lived to solve them and tell the tale. I’m not married yet, but sometimes I feel like I’m already involved in the harrowed haze of a broken marriage. This article is inspired by the “her side of the story” section in the column. And yes, it’s all true.

He is so controlling. The only thing I can do to pacify him is to obey his every wish. I have always been a strong, independent thinker; but whenever I try to stand my ground with Sean, we continuously fight until we’re both exhausted and angry to the point where we want to leave each other. We are vicious, violent, and relentless in our fights. During fights, he can be so insulting and cruel that I just want to break down in cry and I usually do. Whenever we get into these heated fights, he always threatens to leave me. In retaliation, I make desperate attempts to make him stay, anything from bawling how I want to die or threatening to call the police. If I don’t obey him, he gets angry to the point where he’s in this intensive rage and I really have no choice but to back down and cower.

It all started late in the summer; I would go out with my friends and Sean would get anxious. He would call me non-stop, asking what I was doing, saying he needed me on the phone to calm him down. At first I was sympathetic because I suffer from anxiety too, but after a while, I couldn’t compromise not seeing my friends. I’m nervous in social situations, so I value every positive one I’m in. After a while, he became mentally okay with me going out on a regular basis, but then became obsessed with me and drinking. He instituted a “two-drink” ultimatum. I was only allowed two drinks in small social settings, or he would break up with me. I am a grown woman and this rule was not only insulting, but ridiculous in my mind.

First of all, I am not a party animal. I partake in occasional festivities, but it is not a regular occurrence, especially since I suffer from social anxiety and don’t feel comfortable in those situations.