Can This Relationship Be Saved? (Part 1)

Yes, there have been one or two nights in the past year where I had way too much to drink, but what college student hasn’t done that? Secondly, the rule seemed hypocritical and unjustified; the night Sean and I had our first date, we poured each other over half a dozen shots of liquor. For a while, we both liked partaking in our fair share of drinks. In any case, I would have preferred if he had said something like, “I would prefer if you didn’t drink heavily. I think it would strengthen our relationship,” instead of continually focusing on the monetary amount of three drinks that I had on some random Saturday night. I understand that establishing a compromise when it comes to alcohol happens in relationships. I have made huge efforts to abide by his “rule” and make him happy, but every time I slip up just a little, he never lets me forget it. Every mistake I’ve ever made is brought up time and time again. I’m not perfect, and I know that, but he just won’t move on and let me start over and try again.

He’s so needy about us spending time together. I am an only child, and enjoy my own personal space. I need to at least have a little time to myself every day, and he won’t let me have it. When we’re together, I have to be in the same room with him at all times. Sometimes he even asks me to stand by the bathroom door while he’s in there. One time, I wanted to read a book before I went to sleep—just for 15 minutes—and he wouldn’t leave me alone. He followed me into the bedroom, and got mad at me that I wasn’t sleeping. He pretended to be tired too and made me turn off the light. When we fight, sometimes I want to leave the room or turn the phone off or do something to cool down and prevent both of us from exploding, but he won’t let me! He says I’m acting childish and running away from the problems, or he says that turning off the phone makes him anxious and that I should never ever do it. So I’m immature for trying to find some way to defuse the situation? Sure I like to talk through our problems, but there are times when I don’t want to talk to him about it anymore. I don’t know how we can ever have conflict constructively.

Part 1 | (Part 2)