Never Ending

My husband had walked out on me again, in April of 2007 and wouldn’t send money or pay bills or even calls me. He didn’t care if I could eat or not, and kept calling my daughter telling her he was never coming back. I was numb but felt relieved. I didn’t have anyone around me putting me down and cussing and accusing me of any and everything. I tried to be strong and had to take in a boarder just to be able to eat. He found out there was a boarder and demanded that this person get the hell out his house, “his house” after he abandoned me and left me with nothing.

He then came back after four months and rented a car, went to Louisiana, and found a girlfriend and had a affair with her and was even calling her and her mom from overseas and I found out about it when he returned. She called his cell phone which he made sure he keeps a lock code on, but forgot and left it and I answered at first he tried to say she was family, some family, because now she is telling his family members she is possibly pregnant by him. The way he found out about the boarder was the Jamaican woman who lives in front of me, come to find out he had her watching my house and he was calling her from overseas. When I confronted this so called woman about it, she got in the middle of the street and patted her butt at me, “total disrespect”.
His response to me was you better leave that woman alone, she will shoot you. That’s my loving husband looking out for me, I don’t think a dog would humiliate his mate the way  I have been. Still I try and hold my head up and go on, its almost like something deep in me wont let him destroy me completely I know he has always been this way because it is in him to do, I strongly believe if a man is abusive he cant change I cant count the number of times he has hit me and say it will never happen again and yet it does …  

Sometimes not knowing if you will be strong enough to make it through the attack, the more they get away with the bolder he becomes, he has even taken a knife and stabbed me in my head and again told me it was my fault.