Not once but twice, in the last year, my husband has threatened to leave me. On more than one occasion over the past year, I have begged him stay. I am not proud of this at all. I am so alone. I have no one to turn to. I am afraid of being even more alone, if he leaves. I am in a marriage that I have given my life to. Taking care of his needs and ignoring mine. Not taking any time to take care of myself. And now I feel lost. I am thirty-five years old and haven’t been able to find a job for the past two years, even though I am a very qualified web developer.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t have any self worth, because I don’t know if he is staying with me for the right reasons. I am alone and that hurts. I have been through so much over the past eight years, constantly, stuff going wrong. Very wrong.
I am tired and stressed out. I feel like I am going around in circles and can’t get out. I have thought of suicide of many occasions but was never brave enough to do it. I have prayed for help so many times. I don’t know what to do again.
I don’t feel I can take care of myself, I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks because of all the stress over the years.
I feel so lost.
