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At Wit's End

By: Justin Elmore (View Profile)

Firs off, let me begin by explaining my situation. My wife and I are both twenty-one and have been married for a year now. We have a ten-month-old son, and I am the only one that works.

I currently work for twelve hour’s a day, four day’s a week, and whenever I get home, and on my off day’s, my wife act’s like I’m the only parent. Do not get me wrong at all, I love my son more then anything, and we are best buddies, but shouldn’t my wife help me out a little more?

My wife say’s I don’t let her do anything right? She goes out all the time and drink’s, or spends the night with her ex-boyfriend. She says when she is over there, they sleep in the same bed. I don’t feel at all comfortable with this. 

The time she does spend with me, she is always mad at me for no reason. I have no time for myself, I show her how much I deeply love her, but she just shows me hate. What can I do?

I feel so depressed everyday. I just want to feel loved. People have always said I am too soft to be a guy and I need to be meaner. I don’t want to be mean!

I would be glad if anyone would listen to what I have to say, because no one around me seems to, they all just tell me to shut up.

I am at wit’s end and I need some advice.

 

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posted: 05.15.2008
Mitsuko48
I believe you need to look at this a different way. You are already being mean--to yourself. When you allow her to shirk her responsibilities and sleep with other men, you are being mean to you. You don't have to be mean to her, but if you want your life to change, then you have to stop letting her be mean to you. I am afraid this may mean ending the relationship as it is now; I think you know this and are seeking a different answer, but from what you've said it doesn't look like there is another answer if she refuses to stop her behavior or seek help for her own apparent unhappiness. You can either waste years of potential happiness while teaching your son that allowing another person to treat you with contempt and disrespect is fine or you can take charge of your life and try something different. I don't think it will be easy, but unless she is willing to talk to you as an adult and change her behavior or seek help, I can't see another way without being unhappy forever.
posted: 05.12.2008
Babysocks86
HEY JUSSTIN LET ME FIRST SAY , YOU ARE YOUNG BUT VERY MATURE , I AM 35 AND HAVE BEEN MARRIED TO AMAN WHO I HAVE VE BEEN DATING FOR 12 YEARS SO YOUR STORY IS ALMOST LIKE MIND WITHA A TWIST . FIRST OFF THERE IS O REASON WHY YOUR EIFE SHOULD BE SPENDING THE NIGHT OUT WITH HER EX AT ALL , IT IS NOT FAIR TO YOU OR YOUR FAMILY SHE NEEDS TO PUT A STOP TO THIS NONSENSE OR SHE IS GOING TO RUIN A GOOD THING
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