I am in a caring, loving relationship, before which I was single, and before that was in and out of those potential secure caring, loving relationships—the ones that never quite made it.
So now that I have my secure relationship, that has gone past the “potential” stage and onto that lovely “honeymoon, things will last forever stage,” why do things always crop up that just spark the dreaded thought in my head, “Is this really the one? How can he act like that if he sees me as his one? I would never do that … ” (etc. etc.)
I then launch into a virtual rant about all the things I do for him, and what I would have done in his situation, and what I would say to him, and how he may react to that … needless to say the inanity continues. I’m also beginning to notice that if I am particularly caught up in one of these rants while walking down the street, I sometimes notice somebody talking, and to my horror, as I pass a group of judging teenagers, it’s me! My silly obsessions and worries is all pouring out for all to hear!
Meanwhile, he would be at work, working. That’s it, quite simple.
He leaves me on a bad note, goes about his daily tasks and then gets home and everything is fine (yes, I have had one of my “virtual rants” about this!) However, as the female in the relationship I have been stewing over all the tiny details, and even gone through possible conversations we might have on returning home. Yes, I’ve actually managed to make myself more annoyed by coming up with things he might say. It’s not hard to see who the innocent party is here … or, maybe just not quite as much to blame as I may think at the time.
So, as the “diplomat” (as my CV states), I am home and ready to discuss, and pick at what he did and why it upset or annoyed me, to make him understand how I work, so it won’t happen again in the future.
“Oh pleeeease, just get over it!”
Well, that explains everything doesn’t it! Why didn’t I think of that! All day I had been distracted at work, calling sympathetic friends, talking to myself out loud, having virtual arguments, and I should have just “got over it!” Thanks for the advice dear …
My step-mother once pointed out to me how men and women, when you analyze us, are really quite incompatible in relationships. Ever since, I’ve noticed things and know exactly what she means! While we stew and worry, they forget and move on. Then we both return home after our days, and BANG, we clash even more than we did when we were fighting over who didn’t do the washing up the night before (it was him).
