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Nine Phrases Every Man Should Recognize

By: Rebecca Weeks (View Profile)

A friend recently sent me funny emails about how men should interpret some phrases women often say.

Nine phrases women use:

1. Fine:

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes:

If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing:

This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead:

This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5. Loud Sigh:

This is actually a word, and a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing there and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That’s Okay:

This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. “That’s okay” means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks:

A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say, “You’re welcome.”

8. Whatever:

This is a women’s way of saying “F@!K YOU!”

9. Don’t worry about it, I got it:

Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking, “What’s wrong?” For the woman’s response refer to #3.

 

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posted: 07.10.2007
Dream Maker
Very good..............made me laugh ALOT! Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!
posted: 07.09.2007
Jordan Tiffany
6. That's ok is similar to Nothing... It's the result of a big mistake on the guy's part, and indicates that there is nothing he can do to take the mistake back. My pity is with him. 7. Thanks is a small word, but its a big deal. Rare and as precious as a diamond, if you don't recognize this, you're a goner. 8. From it's origins in Valley Girl Speak, Whatever comes out of my mouth to show someone how much I detest them at that moment, and how I don't even care enough to think of a response. Of course when I use it, I care immensely. 9. This is deceiving to men, because the correct response to this statement is for the man to get off his ass, "worry about it" and "get it." If handled incorrectly, I'd count on a comfy bed on the couch that night.
posted: 07.09.2007
Jordan Tiffany
Ahhh I love this! I can say with total confidence that I have used every single one of these...tactics... many times. I don't use them lightly, however, and each time I do, it is deliberate. Here are some examples: 1."Fine" is a clear indicator of impending destruction. If you don't take that as a sign to leave me alone I might bite your head off. 2.For me, 5 minutes means more like 45-60 minutes. Often used with guys before a date. If you are stupid enough to see me with only half of my hair straightened and ask if I'm ready to go, you deserve to hear this lie. 3. If the guy does not further inquire what's wrong after I say "nothing," he's done... Saying "nothing" is a test, and you'd better pass. 4.haha, this means ABSOLUTELY not. I'm not going to tell you directly what not to do, but this is as close as you can get. 5. Loud sighs are meant to be acknowledged with an appropriate change of action or attitude. If the first sigh isn't affective, I WILL let out another louder one
posted: 07.09.2007
Miss Tiff
Well this is one of the funniest articles! I learned from a friend another good phrase to remember: "Don't pour gas on crazy." I keep it in mind any time i find myself wanting to over-react from something that someone does or says. Its working!
posted: 07.09.2007
Rebecca Brown
So true, so true. My most used is "fine." As in "No, I'm fine. Nothing's wrong." Fine is never good, guys. Another one not on the list is signing off on an email with "take care" as opposed to "see you later", "thanks" or whatever. "Take care" is bad - the equivalent to W#8's whatever and "fuck you". Beware the take care.
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