Love and Faith in the Gray

By: Natalie Josef (View Profile)

Life can throw you the biggest curveballs sometimes. You think something is black, and then damn if the next day doesn’t make it white. I have learned that life is gray, and that things rarely happen the way you think they might. The unpredictable is the only thing that is predictable.

I have a good friend named Amber. We first met while working at a gay bar in Nashville. I moved there in 2001 with my bandmate, David. She was a small, cute girl, very popular, with a lot of energy, and a contagious smile. Amber really came into the picture when David and I started having band problems—they started partying together.

I remember the day he told me Amber was pregnant. Obviously, I was in shock. David was into guys and Amber was into girls—the math did not compute. How in the world did they end up sleeping together? I learned that it had a lot to do with Jägermeister. Things moved rapidly after that. They decided to keep the baby; they ended up moving out to CA; and then, they “found” God and got married. I started wondering if I even knew my friend anymore. How do two gay people end up pregnant, married, and walking with God?

I was suspect at first—I really despise all the ex-gay stuff, and so many people I had known who had tried to change their sexuality for God or the church were either miserable or dead. Me being so black and white (and very gay), I could not understand how Amber could be gay one day, and straight, married, and Christian the next. I thought—there is no way she could really be happy.

But she is—and they have both taught me a lot about life and love. They never tried to get me to “change,” nor have they ever made me feel like I had to hide who I was. But it blows my mind: how can all these commonly disparate things co-exist? How can I get an email from Amber asking me about whether my partner and I will be doing artificial insemination and talking about our kids playing together while concluding with “I will pray for you?”

3 readers liked this story.
share
bookmarks
Comments
posted: 06.14.2007
Rebecca Brown
Sometimes I feel my "grayness" is a curse because I often can't commit to either side since I can see both. This reminds me that it's actually a blessing. Life can surprise you when you don't have your mind all made up about it. Thanks for a great story.
posted: 06.14.2007
Lisa Sutherland
If only we could teach this lesson of acceptance to our children. What a wonderful place the world would be if we all saw in shades of grey.
posted: 06.12.2007
Jordan Tiffany
Acceptance is such a vital thing. People aren't meant to be categorized and subcategorized. We love who we love, for any number of reasons. Congratulations to Amber and David for finding themselves and nurturing what will be two well informed children.
posted: 06.07.2007
Jodi Freedman
Ah yes, life is truly gray, that's for sure. Very interesting.
Tell us a Story.

You know you've got something to share. Maybe it's something funny, touching, inspirational or informative. Whatever it is, your circle of friends here at DivineCaroline would love to hear from you.

most liked
Loader_buff
Other topics you might appreciate
Travel Body & Soul Play Career & Money Neighborhood & World