“Oh My Gosh I'm in Love with a Girl!”

I’ve never felt this way, it feels so bad and wrong but at the same time. Gosh it feels so good, I could be with this person forever! No wait what am I thinking I have so much I have to worry about, so much I’m trying to accomplish no one will take me seriously if I continue to see this person, no one knows and I can’t let them find out. I want to be with this person though I know it’s not right but I want to be happy. She makes me happy.

So my whole life I’ve only ever dated guys, that’s how it’s supposed to be right? Girls fall in love with boys and boys fall in love girls it’s only normal, right? I mean sure there were those experiments in high school when we were all curious of what it was like so it was a one time thing that we totally did then forgot it the next day and never spoke of it again. I don’t know anymore, for the first time I’m just completely speechless and at a loss of words that can express my feelings and thoughts in the utmost intelligent way possible. Around her I’m not the same, I can’t be the same “always have to be right, always prove everyone wrong, and always catch ‘em in their contradictions” kinda person. It’s just another whole side of me that she brings out. I can’t believe it actually, I mean no guy has been able to do that before.

So like I’m really girly, I think everything I own is pink and well you pretty much get it, however I’m not the “dumb blonde” that people usually label me as cause after five minutes of talking to me they can see there’s way more than just  a pretty face to me. She see’s that she understands that I want to get to the top by intelligence and not look’s, she’s so positive towards my every goal and believes in me. Not very many people have, besides my mom. That’s another thing stopping me from seeing her: my mother. I know my mom would accept it, she only has ever wanted to see me happy. I’m not sure if I could do it though I wouldn’t want to know or have it in the back of my mind that it’s killing my mom on the inside, even though she’s smiling on the outside. I don’t know maybe she really would accept it like she say’s she would.