On Sex and Lovemaking: A Cup of Common Ground?

If we differ in our viewpoints, does it mean one of us is right and the other is wrong? I hope you’re thinking, most definitely not. If so, we are off to an excellent start. We’re in agreement, so far.

I never like “splitting hairs” or friendly banter over semantics. Why, I’ve been known to say, “we’ve basically agreed, let’s not quibble over semantics.” Allow me to elaborate as I share an opinion with you.

Differentiating one’s self from another can be crucial, especially as a provider of services. The same holds true in one’s personal life, as well. If someone ostensibly misrepresents themselves, well, that’s a separate issue.

I feel there is a difference between sex and lovemaking. I, more or less, am the sum total of my environment and experiences. I was reared in a Christian home and have lived long enough to have frolicked through the tulips. Being therefore greatly influenced by these factors lends credence for placing differences between sex and lovemaking.

I define sex as a physical and temporary expression of lust, while lovemaking is an emotional and lasting expression of trust. In a marital relationship, I feel one can and should enjoy both. In marriage, the scriptures tell us the marriage bed is undefiled.

I am not ignorant to the ways of the world but I share from my perspective. Believing premarital sex is sinful supports my definition of sex and lovemaking. When I read or hear stories about couples having problems in their marriage which is related to intimacy, I strongly feel this differentiation is part of the reason. When a husband or wife says, “We never have sex anymore,” or “We never make love anymore,” I feel they are saying two different things with totally different meanings. Sex is transient. Lovemaking is as perennial as the grass. Which would you prefer in your marriage?

I have friends who would say, “Just as long as there is some activity going on, I don’t care which is present in my marriage!” Well, I get the point but as I’ve said, marriages can have both but if lovemaking isn’t part of the sexual intimacy, the marriage could be headed for trouble if not already experiencing trouble. I’ve used the word intimacy and feel intimacy involves far more than penetration.

It is my belief that lovemaking is sanctioned by God. When two people are joined together in Holy Matrimony, they become one. That is celestial arithmetic. Lovemaking involves spiritual intimacy. Two people becoming one in marriage and during lovemaking represent His Holy Presence in that union. If what someone merely wishes for is sex, the world offers many options for the physical and temporary expression of lust. It’s for sale and it’s free. It’s also meaningless.

Am I wrong?