I believe the titles and/or name calling such as “Men are Dogs” “Once a Cheat always a cheater” etc. are design to either insult and belittle men, or somehow resolve the age old question, “Why do men cheat?” The truth of the matter, is such commentary and conversation don’t resolve much of anything, but rather only put men on the defensive and widen the gap between the sexes even more. These titles make it all too common for a woman to live in fear and make her subconsciously suspicious that her man is eyeing another playmate, whether that is true are not. The answer is not in the name calling, but rather learning accepting how men think, feel, and behave.
The underlying effect on men is to be defensive. And as most men think, their only line of defense is to be dishonest. When she confronted him with the words, do you cheat? Would you ever cheat and have you ever cheated? He answers out of fear of her rejection of him with a simple “No.” Then he wonders which is worse, to deceive himself about his true biological need or lie to the woman he loves or cares about, which she ironically demands that the relationship be based on honesty. By simply asking do you “cheat” she is not being honest herself, but rather challenging her man’s integrity with a double edged sword type of question, much the same way she asks “Do I look fat in these jeans?” She doesn’t want an honest answer—she wants to hear the answer that suits her insecurity which is a big no you don’t look fat in those jeans and no I wouldn’t think of cheating. Having her insecurity temporarily patched she is satisfied.
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