Our clocks also appear to differ, I am always ready and interested in sex in the morning after a night of sleep and, most days with a full bladder and "morning wood". She sleeps late and if we are going to have sex would prefer it at night. Unfortunately, I'm usually beat at the end of the day. I also don't know when she might be receptive to sex, so we never go to bed early enough for me to really have much energy.
This has evolved into me just falling asleep on the couch while watching TV most nights- I'm a strange sleeper and do find it more comfortable to throw a leg over the back of the sofa than to sleep in our too-narrow bed, but without sex I have less incentive to share my space with another person. One other timing caveat is that each of us needs to shower before sex (not a big deal to me, but clearly her preference and an absolute necessity if there's to be any oral sex).
As sex became less and less frequent, I started becoming less and less serious in pursuing it. Rather than invest a lot of energy into getting her in the mood for naught, I gradually began just grabbing a boob and saying something like "Hey, you ready to get nasty?" in a lecherous hopefully comical way.
Naturally, this never worked and I never expected it to, but I started to feel like it's better to be rejected when you can understand the reason why and haven't made any investment.
In the past year, I've been trying a different strategy- just not expressing any interest of my own. The first time I went about two months without either of us showing an interest in sex, then I broke down and she was a perfectly willing partner. At the end, I think I said something like “We should be doing this more often” and she agreed.
Then, we waited three months and I broke down in time for my annual birthday sex—I think we both knew we'd have sex on my birthday and I don't recall either of us really initiating the process. That was six months ago. Christmas has come and gone; Valentine's Day; our anniversary (which we spent vacationing in the French Quarter of New Orleans for Christ's sake)—nothing. I'm still waiting to her say, "Let's have sex", "Let's go to bed early", whatever—but, like I said, I don't think she has ever initiated sex or even commented on it's infrequency.
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