My Boyfriend Watches Porn Everyday

By: Fairy Yume (View Profile)

He likes all the tying up and stuff but he doesn’t do those things as much as he used to. Then it would be to where we would go a week to 2 weeks not having ANY kind of intimacy AT ALL. I would confront him and I once asked if he wanted me to be the one who starts it. He said he hasn’t even thought about it. This made me feel unwanted, ugly and as if he much preferred the women in porn more. I told him this and he said, “No I just haven’t been as horny as I used to.” I told him, “But yet you’ll still look at porn and masturbate to it.” I was the one starting the foreplay and then he would have sex with me then half the time he wouldn’t be cumming. We both decided that he had a problem with getting horny and I told him I didn’t want him looking at porn with me at home at all. He said ok. I told him I’m just fine with it as long as you’re still having sex with me, because if you’re not horny when you’re with me, but still getting horny to masturbate, then that’s a problem. I asked him to look into it either with a doctor or online. He will still go nearly a week sometimes without having me. I find that he still looks and saves pictures and porn everyday for hours.

I don’t understand why he wants/needs to look at porn every day when I’m gone. I’m very confused at what to do. I really do feel that he is bored with us already because he likes dominant women on submissive women, which I won’t give him that. I can’t be in a relationship where the he wants sex with me less than I do. But yet he still looks at porn everyday. We have talked about it and he knows everything of how I feel and vise versa. Please give me any input, advice, or comments.

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posted: 07.10.2008
Lisaadriane Fama
i know exactly how you feel and i am at aloss as well. My self esteem is suffering so much that I am seriously considering seeking out a one night stand just so that I know that I am desirable to a man. I want him so much, and the more I desire him, the less he wants me. I can honestly say that this is one of the worst feelings I have ever felt, because there is absolutely nothing I can do that will make him see how much this is hurting and affecting me, and at times I wish I had never falllen in love at all, if this was the way it had to be. I am not a jealous person by nature ,but feeling like I am unwanted has turned me into a suspicious, insecure disatster. I really hope you find some kind of rememdy for this and let me know, because at this point I can imagine my life w/o him hurting less than living this way...
posted: 04.16.2008
Joe Mama
Well Fairy I actually just wrote an article all about this. http://www.divinecaroline.com/article/22081/48055‐beginning There are two things at work here. You don't understand porn. He has an issue/trauma somewhere that causes him to gravitate toward BDSM. The porn part is an easy answer: It has nothing to do with your relationship. It is part of male sexualaity to desire visual sexual stimulation. The other stuff is rough. Does he have an adictive personality? Not by assumption. Has he ever had a drug or drinking problem? What was his childhood like. Mother relationship. Molestation? Sexual Abuse? Physicall Abuse? Absentee Parent? Things like that can cause this. One of the biggest warning signs for unhealthy behavior is the effect it has on your personal relationships. Has work, family, friends and love paid a price for porn? Then it is a problem. If not then there is just a differing moral view of pornography.
posted: 10.22.2007
Jane Dobbs
Sounds like this is something he can't give up. Maybe you need to decide whether you can live with it, or him for that matter, or whether you need to look elsewhere. Perhaps there is a guy out there who is more like you with similar interests. A lot of guys like porn, but if he's more interested in virtual sex than sex with you, to heck with him. There are plenty of fish in the sea!
posted: 09.29.2007
Lesley Ellis
I do not have any answers for you. I have a boyfriend that even after we have sex he looks at porn on the computer. He runs out and does this. So what does that mean? He has said that he would stop and did for a week or two. He does not come to look at me. He gets less and less into sex and I think lazier as it goes on. I know how you feel. I feel so unattractive and I am becoming depressed about it. Everyone tells me to get on medicine but I do not see how that will help. I am sorry and wish that things were not like that for you. I have came to the conclusion that the problem is his and it is not me. somewhere out there maybe there is a guy who will want to look at me instead of a fantasy.
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