Over time, you, your husband, and the professionals helping you can come up with a plan. This plan should cover everything from your husband’s daily activities (including things like grooming and chores), ways to manage his anger, and what your precise tasks will be. It’s even possible that you could come up with a plan of action for the bedroom. The crucial thing, however, is that you are part of a team effort instead of shouldering the burden of your happiness and his all by yourself.
If you’re worried about paying for all this, contact your insurance company and your state or county health and human services department. A lot of states offer all the services I described above at low cost or for free to people who are disabled.
“Could you imagine . . . what God would think of me?”
I might be straying into the territory of my other column, God on the Ground , but I couldn’t let this one slide.
Yes, FG, I can imagine what God would think of you. In Matthew 11:28, Jesus says, “Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.” It sounds like you qualify as “weary and heavy-laden.” I think God is worried about you. I think he wants you to stop feeling ashamed and seek help. I doubt he wants you to feel guilty about the overwhelming situation you’re in. And I think anyone who judges you is going to piss him off. I believe that God wants hear about every angry, frightened, disgusted feeling you have. I think he wants you to open up to him. And then open up to other people. God likes to show his love to us through our love to each other. You need a lot of love if you’re going to get through this. You just might need to ask for it first.
Read the January Ask the Man Shrink column.
Ask the Man Shrink is published monthly. Each column features a real question from a reader, and we invite other readers to respond with their thoughts and insights by posting comments. If you have a question for Stephen, please send it to him in care of the editor at rbrown@realgirlsmedia.com. Your question will be kept in the strictest of confidence.
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