If you decide to move toward divorce, it is also recommended that you get some counseling to help you through the process. With your emotions frazzled, it can be a very difficult time in which to make sound decisions alone so get some objective input from a trusted leader or counselor.
If your spouse is repentant, it will take you some time to regain your trust for your husband or wife and it is up to you to forgive your spouse and to do your part in working at the relationship. However, it is up to your spouse to work at re-establishing trust and that takes time.
Going through the aftermath of adultery is much like grieving the death of a loved one, whether or not you and your spouse reconcile, it is important for you to give yourself the right to grieve. You have been through a terrible betrayal. Do not let anyone convince you otherwise. It is normal for you to not be as lighthearted as you may have once been. You have been hurt and those feelings of betrayal and grief are normal and to be expected.
As mentioned in the beginning, marriage is much larger than the two people it surrounds; therefore, seeking spiritual guidance and instruction and/or professional help cannot be emphasized enough. Additionally, there is now an opportunity to finally deal with issues that may continue to cause damage to your marriage if left unresolved. There will be hard work ahead but the reward could be a “happily ever after” relationship in which the two of you can grow old together through mutual respect and love.
By Adultery Expert Stephany Alexander
