Dear Man Shrink,
Several years ago my OB/GYN asked me if I had ever been molested and I told him no. He insisted that I take a book that he had in his office, but I never took it because I was so sure that he was wrong. I believe that he was basing his opinion on the fact that I have IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) and depression. He said that these are “signs” of molestation. This upset me so much that I wouldn’t go back to him. Is it possible for a person to suppress a memory such as this? I feel that I may have a personality disorder and know that while I enjoy sex and have no problem expressing myself, I also find myself not allowing my sexual partner close to me. In other words, I run if someone wants an intimate relationship with me instead of just a sexual one.—BF
Dear BF,
Your question raises two issues: repressed memories and the connection between Irritable Bowl Syndrome (IBS) and sexual abuse. Let’s talk about those for our viewers at home before discussing the best way for you to proceed.
Repressed memories of sexual abuse is a controversial topic. A repressed memory is something that your brain cuts off from conscious awareness. The theory states that remembering horrifying experiences, such as sexual abuse, would be so traumatic that our brain defends us from them. We don’t remember something because it would be too painful and overwhelming. However, the experience still affects us. It can show up through personality traits, relationships, phobias, body image, etc.
Scientific research of repressed memories is a slippery slope. There are few sound empirical studies because it’s a difficult thing to observe in a controlled fashion (for an excellent review of the research, see this article). There have been documented cases of both true and false incidents of repressed memory syndrome. Without good research, the best we can say is that some people experience sexual abuse as children and don’t remember it as adults. However, we aren’t sure how often this happens or what the signs are.
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