What Good Is in the Past, Women Just Want to Be Loved

I have heard a number of people say that we should leave things that are in the past in the past. “Forgetting those things which are behind, we press towards the mark of the most high calling in Christ Jesus Our Lord.” These are words from pastors and Christians, which encourages us not to look back. I even remember another story as well. Lot’s wife who turned into a pillar of salt because she looked back on a city that was corrupt, but looking back was to remember the riches she once had. Nonetheless, during therapy, psychotherapy, and counseling an individual client does a lot of looking back. The purpose of looking back in the past is to resolve some of the inward battles or unbalanced emotions that cause one to make unsound decisions, or perhaps, get blocked or side tracked into repeating the same pain, if not careful.

One must learn their past and present behavior in order to establish self worth. Self worth is a love for self, a love for life, and to be able to understand the self-exploration of being in the world, but not part taking in the evil of the world. A lot of pain was present in my life since a child, and that childhood pain caused some very repetitive patterns that were destructive in my youthful life as a teen. Most of that pain has influenced my adult life and spiritual maturity. Elementary school was a consistent flow of domestic violence experiences, emotional, psychological, and physical abuse. Mostly, life to me was just a dark cloud of worries, fear, frustrations, unhappiness, rejection, confusion, lust, and foolish pride.

The confusion of love certainly caused underdeveloped relationship building techniques, which could be positive, negative, or enduring. Watching my mother accept abuse from her lover, husband, and my stepfather certainly was confusing. I could never understand how a man or women could love each other, but hate each other at the same time. Sex in our home was a manipulative antidote for control, vindictive pleasure, and destructive behavior. Certainly, lovemaking was missed, and understanding how lovemaking really happens was not registered correctly either. Romance was not seen in my home. There was beating, slapping, and have hot lust and passion, then it was right back to beating, manipulation, and mind control. Fear enslaved our house; it enslaved my aunt’s house, grandmother’s house, cousin’s house, and so on.