Let’s Get It On: The Best Aphrodisiacs

If your inbox looks anything like mine, you have ads for things like “Passion Rx,” “Make Hr Com Lnger,” and “Horny Goat Weed Liquid.” Though there’s certainly no shortage of products on the market purporting to stimulate sexual appetite and lift libido, a true aphrodisiac—an agent that arouses sexual desire—has yet to be found.

However, maybe this doesn’t matter. Although no food, drink, herb, or potion has been proven to biochemically make humans hot, it doesn’t mean there aren’t a few things that help plant the seed of sex in a flame’s brain. As Dr. Ruth once said, “the most important sex organ lies between the ears.”

Below are ten things to be used—or avoided—when trying to put a partner in the mood.

1. Rhino Horn
The logic behind the rhino horn as an aphrodisiac is quite literal: the horn is phallic and erect, so eating it is supposed to make one’s own phallus erect, as well as increase libido.(Though if a penis as pointy as a rhino’s horn came charging towards me, I would be anything but aroused.) However, there is no evidence that there’s anything in the horn of this almost extinct animal that would be make one’s penis point skyward. It does contain calcium and phosphorus, which, in nutrient deprived diets, could have resulted in better health—“better health” meaning more energy for the horizontal tango. It seems easier these days to just get our nutrients from spinach. Leave the rhino out of it.

2. Ginseng Root
Similar to the shape/function association of the rhino horn, ginseng is also thought of as an aphrodisiac because it’s thought to resemble a man’s unit. In fact, the word ginseng means “man root.” (Please, God, let me never, ever come across a man with a ginseng root-shaped penis.) The root does have mild stimulating properties, and has been used medicinally in China, Tibet, Korea, and India. According to the FDA, there have been some experiments showing a sexual response in animals, but there is no evidence that ginseng has an effect on human sexuality.