Maybe Then He’ll Notice ...

By: Casey ( Little_person View Profile)

I had been dating this guy for a year and we were so happy together. We told each other everything and we spent almost everyday with each other, we were inseparable. 8th grade I had the time of my life, everything was perfect, my grades were pretty decent, I loved my classes, it was truly the perfect year. Summer was just as fun, OK so now you think I’m bragging ... well I never wanted to believe in the saying, “All good things come to an end sometime …” but now I realize that’s sometimes the case…

My boyfriend and I started fighting over the most ridiculous things, why we couldn’t hang out a certain day, who we were allowed to hang out with, things just kept getting worse, lies were told back and forth, we didn’t know what was true. My boyfriend had then told his family everything that was going on between us, god I wish he didn’t… his family looked at me completely different. Our parents one night got into a huge fight with each other and my dad told me I wasn’t allowed to see my boyfriend anymore, only in school, or if we met someplace, but I was not to go to his house, and he wasn’t to come to my house either.

Only a few weeks passed when I told him I couldn’t do it anymore, it wasn’t fair. So we broke up. At first I thought “You know what, I’m okay with this. Now I can do what ever I want, and not worry about him getting mad at me!” But I realized I was lying to myself ... I missed him terribly. I wanted to be with him more than ever, and the thought of him being with another girl killed me, inside and out.

I acted for a long time that I was okay and I was happy but on the inside I wasn’t at all. He was completely different around me, we hooked up still but then he would say things like “I’m glad we’re just friends ...” or “We’re better off this way …” I thought to myself, maybe if I start losing weight like all those girls I see in magazines, and become really skinny then maybe something will change, maybe he’ll regret saying those things ... maybe he’ll want to be with me again. So I worried constantly about my weight.

1 reader liked this story.

1 2

comments (5)

bookmarks

more from Casey

see related stories

Casey, NJ

view profile Arrow_grey_right

send message Arrow_grey_right

A Lover in Disguise?
09.16.2007
Relationships : Friendships : Guyfriends

How Do You Know When You’re Depressed?
06.28.2007
Body & Soul : Emotional Well-Being : Mental Wellness

Showing stories 1-2 of 2

Comments

There seems to be too many people of whom you have allowed to seize control of you and hence your emotions. Your Parents are the ones you need most to get you to the next phase of your life. You old boyfriend was just like candy-sweet but not neccessary. You are 19 and still need the guidance of your parents and teachers to help you obtain and refine important tools for life matters. Boyfriends are too young to provide you with such hence the term "boy"friend. They're boys. Now, focus on where you need to be for your own well being in three years- now make your plan. And hey, it's hard to think clearly when you are robbing your own body of nutrients that aide with effective brain function. You are not alone-but you are feeling lonely- it's okay for a bit- but don't get too lost in yourself. Come back to the people who have always loved you for you.

No one is worth feeling badly about yourself. I’m sure there are ten guys waiting to ask you out now that you’re single. Also, you’re in high school, don’t limit yourself to one guy, you should try and spend as much time with your friends as possible, because before you know it, you’ll all be off to college and separated. You’re beautiful!

Casey- Breakups are some of the worst things that anyone has to go through, and have been the source of many of my tears. However, they are also some of the experiences that have taught me about myself the most. When I was younger, breakups would knock me out, and send me spinning into an unhealthy place, where I would spend most of my time criticizing numerous aspects of my appearance and character. I would pick myself apart and focus on everything I did that led up to the end. It sounds like you’re pulling yourself apart like I did, and I ache for you. Casey, you have to realize that if you feel that changing yourself in any way will make someone like you, that the person isn’t worth a thing. As trite as it sounds, you want someone who loves you because of you. It’s hard to get over being with someone for so long, but you should be excited to be able to be with your friends, meet people, not feel pressure or worry over what He’s doing, who He’s with.

Casey, I'm sorry to hear about your breakup...I know how hard that must've been and believe me when I say I have felt the exact same way: "If only I was skinnier, prettier, etc." But I have to tell you, 130 pounds at 5'10" is NOT normal. Please be careful and take care of and be good to yourself first - no one is worth jeopardizing your health and ultimately, your life. It might be a good idea to talk to a counselor at school about what you're going through.

good lord child! Actually i do not shame you for thinking loseing weight would bring this man back to you....men are very primitive in their thinking pattern...it has been proven by some of the best Psychiatrist of our century. So, to bad for the men....anyway....Our self image is very important to every woman and also our love for ourselves is most important. Once a woman loves totally who she is what she is and all about her inner self...she can once and for all put the guilt, shame game behinde her and her outer looks are only but that outer looks. Oh yeah and by the way....age catches up wether we like it or not....our looks to fade and go with the wind, so love yourself first then true love can find its way into your heart. Until then we all will keep on recieving the neandrethal men for eternity....how wrong is that?

Tell us a Story.

You know you've got something to share. Maybe it's something funny, touching, inspirational or informative. Whatever it is, your circle of friends here at DivineCaroline would love to hear from you.

Get started Arrow_grey_right