“You are a piece, I am a problem, maybe between us lies resolve.” -Benna
Dearest A,
That statement is the story of my life, I am forever in search of resolve in order to obtain a piece of peace. It may take a lifetime for me to discover the precise piece of matter that will be relevant in positively resolving my personal problems; more specifically and according to you, I am the most ominous of all my own problems. Fear not, your accusation about me being a problem is not a singular accusation; from this moment forward I insist that you must find comfort knowing that by all means you are most certainly not alone with your own furious thoughts related to me. Please take comfort in knowing that your very same view has been a conjecture by my mother, father, and brother. No worries about inference since at this juncture in my life I wholeheartedly agree with the whole gang’s finger wagging and their copious negative remarks related to yours truly.
Often, I have believed that I on occasion, was able to establish what was an authentic matter, hence my belief that that I had finally obtained resolve and even if for a short time, that I could at long last exhale and relish in peace of mind. But like the wind, what I believed was a lasting piece of matter had in fact whipped right past my fingers preventing me from having a firm and everlasting grip of it. Dare I say, as a result I always remained a problem to you even amidst resolve?
This far in my life, at forty-four years of age, I have learned that what matters most in life cannot be seen by my human eye. Essentially, what matters doesn’t have a specific look to it because “it” cannot be seen, it will remain forever transparent. What resolve brings to my mind cannot be tangibly felt and touched as if it is solid matter, atoms or particles. Discovering why various problems continue to grow and evolve through any lifetime, and that the continual clock tick of time is the defining sound of living life, through its rhythmic process in keeping with the beat for resolving such problems into a beautiful and meaningful pieces of matter. However to you, you would argue that problems lack matter, problems need to go away. To me, important matter is awesome in it’s own special way since it can be strangely motivating and it can create poetic restlessness. Matter can be inspiring, in its ability to evoke thought and eventual meaning and comprehensive value to a human being’s lessons about life.
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