Sick and Tired but Can’t Escape!

I don’t know where to begin. I met my husband when I was seventeen and he was twenty-three. Within months of us beginning to date I was pregnant and he had someone else pregnant. I found myself seventeen pregnant in my senior year of high school and homeless. That’s right as soon as he found out I was pregnant he denied my baby and split. When my daughter was two he went to jail, and all of a sudden had the epiphany that she was his and he wanted to be a father to her and marry me, being young and dumb I fell for his bull. He spent five years in jail, during that time he told me that he didn’t care if I dated anyone else as long as I didn’t fall in love or get pregnant. I met a handsome young man during my husband’s incarceration, we started seeing each other, he knew about my daughter’s father and where our relationship stood and was fine with it. 

Two years into our relationship the guy I was seeing asked me where did I see our relationship going and I explained to him that I did still have feelings for my daughter’s father and I desired to be with him and marry him when he came home. THAT’S WHEN IT BEGAN. He punched me when I made that statement, and from then on he would love me one minute and beat me the next, I felt trapped I felt so low. He made me believe that no one else would want me, and if I tried to ever leave him that he would kill me. I lived in fear everyday for the next three years. I found a way out when I became pregnant with my second daughter and he beat me so bad that a social worker at the hospital informed me that if I stayed in the relationship she would consider both of my children to be in danger, my born and unborn daughters. She arranged for me to go into a shelter for abused women. That night I was told to go home and get as much as I could and stay at a relatives house, I had to leave almost everything behind. That night I received my last beating from him, he accused me of lying about being in the hospital the night before and instead being at another man’s house, he raped me and beat me so bad the next day my face was swollen on one side of my face. Before leaving for work he kissed me and asked me to please stop making him do things like that to me because he loves me so much that he would kill anyone who hurt me (then why did he allow himself to still live and breathe).