My Life or Theirs?

By: Teri Tapia (View Profile)


I know most people would say it was lust, but I really felt like I was meant to be with him. I finally told him how I felt, but he would have no part of it because I was married. So I didn’t push the issue. I just kept on as usual. And then, one day, out of the blue, he kissed me! Man, I fell into another dimension. Afterwards, I just stared at him in shock. I couldn’t believe that everything I had ever thought was actually happening! I felt like I had never felt before! 

Things just got stronger and stronger between us after that. And the first time we actually had sex, man … he rocked my world. He is fantastic. I didn’t know that there was actually a man out there who has everything. He makes me laugh, he talks to me, he’s honest with me about everything, he loves music more than I do (and that’s a lot), and he’s a great lover. He’s always thinking of me. I’ve only been with one other man besides my husband, so I don’t have much to go by, but I know that he is not like other guys.

Oh, he has his faults. One of them being that he’s really jealous. I can’t blame the guy. I’m cheating on my husband to be with him, so why not cheat on him to be with someone else, right? But, what he doesn’t understand is that he makes me feel like I’m in another world. No one has ever made me feel that way. I knew that when everyone found out that I’m with him, they were going to think I’m crazy, but I really didn’t care. 

Except for my family. I was so scared of my kids finding out. You see, I’ve tried to build up this image of myself to my friends and family, that I can handle anything that comes my way, and that I’m kind of perfect. My husband has done so much wrong, that I’ve always tried to pick up the slack, and do so much right. I know I’m not perfect, but do they? I was scared of my husband finding out because he depends on me to keep him straight, and if I’m not there, then what happens to him? One of my best friends even told me that. She said, “You can’t leave him, he’ll never survive without you!” Do you know how that made me feel? Then another friend told me, “You can’t keep living your life for him.” So, here I was, stuck, trying to figure out what to do, and how to do it. I finally told him again two days ago that I wanted a divorce. I tried to blame him, which for the most part was true, but I knew deep inside what the real reason was. 

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posted: 05.04.2008
Jeannie Tapia
Way to go GIRL!!! I know exactly how you feel. You really deserve better than that. Keep up the good work girl.
posted: 04.28.2008
Pam Fenyus
I completely understand what you are saying. Three years ago, I left my marriage of 25 years ... my life was dying inside of me and to save myself, I had to move out. I left with nothing, not even a washcloth, but I also knew that my children were not going with me (ages 17 and 21 at the time). I left for no man, got a place of my own and spent the first 2 years working on myself. After the 2nd year, I knew what I wanted in life was just to be happy and I was secure enough at that point to start dating. I didn't date just anyone, I was very particular who I went out with, as I did not need a man to make me happy. I met a good friend and we were friends for months and months before we realized that there was something more. My daughter is distraught over me dating him, or even the fact that he is in my life at all. It's a very difficult, however, Dave and I do love each other and I cannot even bring his name up to her.
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