I know most people would say it was lust, but I really felt like I was meant to be with him. I finally told him how I felt, but he would have no part of it because I was married. So I didn’t push the issue. I just kept on as usual. And then, one day, out of the blue, he kissed me! Man, I fell into another dimension. Afterwards, I just stared at him in shock. I couldn’t believe that everything I had ever thought was actually happening! I felt like I had never felt before!
Things just got stronger and stronger between us after that. And the first time we actually had sex, man … he rocked my world. He is fantastic. I didn’t know that there was actually a man out there who has everything. He makes me laugh, he talks to me, he’s honest with me about everything, he loves music more than I do (and that’s a lot), and he’s a great lover. He’s always thinking of me. I’ve only been with one other man besides my husband, so I don’t have much to go by, but I know that he is not like other guys.
Oh, he has his faults. One of them being that he’s really jealous. I can’t blame the guy. I’m cheating on my husband to be with him, so why not cheat on him to be with someone else, right? But, what he doesn’t understand is that he makes me feel like I’m in another world. No one has ever made me feel that way. I knew that when everyone found out that I’m with him, they were going to think I’m crazy, but I really didn’t care.
Except for my family. I was so scared of my kids finding out. You see, I’ve tried to build up this image of myself to my friends and family, that I can handle anything that comes my way, and that I’m kind of perfect. My husband has done so much wrong, that I’ve always tried to pick up the slack, and do so much right. I know I’m not perfect, but do they? I was scared of my husband finding out because he depends on me to keep him straight, and if I’m not there, then what happens to him? One of my best friends even told me that. She said, “You can’t leave him, he’ll never survive without you!” Do you know how that made me feel? Then another friend told me, “You can’t keep living your life for him.” So, here I was, stuck, trying to figure out what to do, and how to do it. I finally told him again two days ago that I wanted a divorce. I tried to blame him, which for the most part was true, but I knew deep inside what the real reason was.
