The last two times she incurred those huge bills were in the last six months of our relationship. We both knew it was coming to an end, and she actively, if not secretly, started to look for someone new to be her mate. That’s what she wanted, a mate. She twice incurred an outrageous cell phone bill that totaled nearly $1,400 both times, and didn’t understand why. We had a family plan and I knew my minutes weren’t the issue. So, at her request I checked her minutes online and found one number, on both bills, with a combined calling time of over twenty-seven hours. Lisa told me she had no idea who it was. So, when I called the number, again at her request, it took me only a couple of minutes to determine that the gentleman on the other end of the line was known to her, and she to him. Lisa had met this guy through an Internet dating service and he worked in the same profession as she. That was the final straw. I moved out shortly thereafter, but not before helping her move to her latest folly, a new condo. I worked my ass off helping her, as did her long-suffering parents, and she borrowed in excess of $35,000 from them to effect the condo rehab.
I’m sure the question you all may be asking is, why did I stay so long? Lisa’s answer was that it was because she made more money than I and therefore I lived a better lifestyle because of that fact. I laugh when she accuses me of that, because from day one we had nothing but financial problems that were mainly due to her profligate spending habits, wasteful behavior, and the mountain of debt she brought to our relationship. I had very little debt when we moved in together. Yet, I was saddled with hers. And, it was okay in the beginning because we were in this together and the modern lifestyle precludes a debt-free relationship, especially if you’re in your thirties or have been divorced.
The odd thing about it was several months after I’d moved in with Lisa I had been warned by her ex-husband that I’d only be able to take her for five years and then it would be over. He actually told me this, and it wasn’t sour grapes. He was happy to be out of the relationship. Of course, at first his ego was hurt when she left and the fact that he would no longer have her income to combine with his affected his lifestyle some, but overall, after a relatively short period of mourning he was okay. Her parents, meanwhile, intimately knowing Lisa and her mental health issues after a lifetime of dealing with them also warned me about her. In fact, her mother often wondered over the next several years how I could stand staying with Lisa as long as I had. As you can imagine I was floored to hear those words from Lisa’s own mother. Her younger sister, another casualty of the mental illness issues Lisa began experiencing as a pre-teen, had long felt anger, abandonment by her parents (who struggled to help Lisa any way they could to the detriment of their other daughter), and as the years went by, an increasing apathy toward her older sister.
