I woke up that next day at my parent’s house. I was in shock. I was in a panic. It had been a 10 hour drive the day before. I had to stop several times to breast feed. When I was driving I just wanted to get to the safety of my parent’s house. I could not cry on the way. I knew I had to stay in control, I was driving. I stopped several times my baby was crying. It was hot as it always is in Florida. It seemed like I was forever seeing corn. Fields and fields of corn. It felt like a prison in that car. I could hardly breathe holding back the tears. I left him. He was still sitting in prison and I left him.
In a matter of hours I arranged for my things to be moved out. They came four hours later. Three men standing there looking at me. Where were my boxes? Do you have any tape, we ran out? I took everything. Everything was mine anyway. He had nothing he moved around too much with the Navy. He had sold it all before he joined. I took everything, everything but the Christmas tree. We had just decorated it a few days before. I stood there and I took a long look at that tree. It was my message to him. I didn’t leave a note. This Christmas tree said it all. Look at what you have done! Look at what you have lost. I am still not sure if he ever really got the true meaning of that tree I left behind. He probably never will. But I know and that’s all that matters.
