When I was nineteen, I met this guy who worked in the same factory as me. He was very sweet and he got along well with my eight-month-old son. After about three months of dating, he convinced me that we should move in together. So we went and found a really nice house and I spent lots of time decorating the place and turning it into a home. For the first little while, everything was fine; then he started telling me what to wear and who to talk to.
At first, it didn’t bother me. I figured he knew something I didn’t and that he was trying to protect me. Then his behavior got worse and he began to hide my car keys and forbid me to see my friends. He even tried to get me to keep my son from his father. At work, if I even talked to anyone he would get very angry, accusing me of cheating, even if it was a girl. Then one night we were arguing over my son and he slapped me.
I was very shocked and the emotional pain was worse than the physical pain. Over time, the abuse got worse and even escalated into sexual abuse. It didn’t matter if I said no or not; he would rape me, sometimes multiple times in one night. The people we worked with knew what was going on and they tried to talk me into leaving him, but I still loved him in my own way and I hoped he would change.
Instead of getting better, things just got worse. He wouldn’t let me go anywhere alone and he eventually tore up my car so that I had to depend on him to take me everywhere. I never saw my friends and he was beating me nearly every day. Every day before work, he would give me a list of people I could talk to and people I couldn’t. If I didn’t listen then I would pay when we got home. A woman at work told me it was only a matter of time before he began to hit my son and that scared me to death. Still, I was afraid to leave and I had no way to. He kept all the money and I had no car.
Then one night after he had been drinking, he was very violent. He beat me and when I fought back, he began to choke me. I could hear my son crying in the background and I just knew he was going to kill me. The only thing that saved my life was that his friends just happened to stop by. I was able to call my little boy’s daddy and he came to get me. We have been together ever since and now we have a little girl as well. Nobody deserves to be treated that way and a man won’t change. Don’t put up with abuse—it’s not worth it.
