Divorce: Releasing the Toxic Emotions

The way to recover and thrive after divorce is simple. Until you can release the toxic emotions surrounding your divorce, it is impossible for you to move forward in life and be happy. It takes enormous commitment and effort but it can be achieved. If you want to lead a new life that is both fulfilling and happy, you must let go of the negative emotions and thoughts that hold you back from creating a life you love. And guess what else? Who do you suppose pays the biggest price when it comes to toxic emotions? You.

During the divorce process, the negative emotions that you were already experiencing in your marriage go haywire! During times of crisis, our world appears to crumble, and with it, our concept of whom we are. Our mind chatter turns up the volume to deafening levels. We question everything. We feel emotions so intense that we often wonder if we will survive them. Anger, sadness, depression, rage, grief, resentment, bitterness, and confusion are some of the feelings we are hit with.

Once a divorce is finalized, we find ourselves attempting to adjust to a new way of life that is oftentimes lonely and frightening. The negative emotions are still there and perhaps worse as we face the harsh reality that we are indeed divorced and on our own. Even if we are the one who initiated the divorce, it is still a brave new world. If we spend our days tied up in thoughts and feelings that disempower us, there is no clear path to the future.

We may find ourselves ruminating about our situation throughout the day. That time spent on the mind chatter based in negative feelings, eats up time that we could be spent working on a new life. Think about it. If I spend hours during the day consumed with thoughts of resentment and hatred towards my ex, I don’t have time for other, more productive thoughts and actions to arise. There is only so much room up there in the head. If we use up all our space with negativity, we have no room for the much needed positive thoughts.

The destructive mind chatter will permeate every aspect of our being. When we are residing in a perspective or attitude that life is not fair, then everything that goes on during the day will support that perspective. If we are living in the perspective that our ex is a terrible person, then everything that he or she says and does will support that idea. It spreads throughout our lives like a cancer.

Trust me, you are the one who pays the biggest price.