The destructive mind chatter will permeate every aspect of our being. When we are residing in a perspective or attitude that life is not fair, then everything that goes on during the day will support that perspective. If we are living in the perspective that our ex is a terrible person, then everything that he or she says and does will support that idea. It spreads throughout our lives like a cancer.
Trust me, you are the one who pays the biggest price. It is you who suffers the most. It is you who is giving up on life. It is you who is consumed with thoughts that cause stress, sadness, depression and paralysis. It is you who becomes a person that few want to be around. It is you who is setting a poor example for the children. It is you who cannot move forward and is mired in the past, a past that is destined to repeat itself under the present conditions.
How then do we learn to let go of these toxic emotions and thoughts? Here is a way to begin the journey to a future filled with all that you want:
1. Understand that you are the sacrificial lamb on the altar of life. You have this one precious life to live and you have the choice to make it great or miserable. What will it be?
2. No one other than yourself is responsible for your life, your divorce or your marriage for that matter. This is one of the most difficult things to get your mind around but it is true. Unless you accept responsibility for yourself and everything you see in your life, then you will continue to blame others and give away your power.
If you were to be totally honest with yourself, you would probably see how you played an equal part in the collapse of your marriage. Even if you are the so-called dumpee, there were two people in this marriage and no one person is solely at fault. You may believe that your ex was a bully and a tyrant and you were an innocent victim but guess what? You allowed it. You were co-dependent; you empowered your ex in ways you may not even recognize at this point in time.
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