The Emotional Cripple’s Guide to Leaving an Abusive SOB (Part 1)

By: S.E. Walker (View Profile)

Wishing, Hoping, and Planning

To get where you need to be, you need to know where you are now and draw a map to where you want to go.

Make a list. Write down things you want to accomplish, places you want to visit and dreams you once had and have nearly forgotten about.

I found one of my lists when I started writing this and took great pride and satisfaction in being able to cross off a handful of items, which I had accomplished.

Now I’m looking at the remaining items and am working on plans to make them come into being.

Build a Support System

All it takes is one other person who believes in you to give you courage and strength that you may think you don’t have.

In my marriage I was not “allowed” to have friends. X preferred I worked, came home, and focused on my family. When I was able to start my on medical transcription business and work from home he was delighted. Then I didn’t need to leave the house, except for the grocery store and other errands. When I tried to sign up for a class just to get out of the house and be with other people, he always came up with reasonable reasons why that

My first true “woman friend” was the secretary of a financial planner who was soliciting my business. She had been where I was and knew what I need—a friend. From her I learned I was stronger than I ever gave myself credit for.

If you have no one to talk to, no one to confide in, and no one outside of your marriage, go to a local church and introduce yourself to the church secretary. These are very special women who can introduce you to someone with similar interests. They are also great resources for plumbers, electricians and car repair services when the need arises.

Another place to find support is any women’s social group. Or if you town offers it, a battered women’s support group or a Celebrate Recovery meeting. There you can meet with people who are traveling the same road you are. These women can offer guidance and suggestions to problems or just listen when you need to vent.

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