To set your own target, you need to get real. Look around and figure out how much it will take to start your life over again. Figure out how much apartments rent for, how much utilities are and what you will need to buy once you are out on your own. And don’t forget food.
A job is a given. You need to have enough income to pay the bills without depending on anyone else because your abuser will not be happy about giving up any money once you’ve escaped.
The List
This is a list of things you’ll want to gather and take with you. You can add or delete from it as you see fit.
Driver’s license
Credit cards
Pay stubs—yours and copies of theirs
Information on other accounts and assets—yours and theirs
Passport
Social Security cards—yours and kids
Birth Certificates—yours and kids
Titles, deeds, wills, mortgages
Marriage Certificate
Medical records and medications
Kids’ school records
Insurance information
Valued pictures, family heirlooms, other personal possessions
Go through your house one room at a time, one drawer at a time and list EVERYTHING you want to take with you. Take your time with this. If you can, sort, thin, consolidate.
Valuable papers can be scanned onto a stick drive for added security. I heard one story where the husband destroyed all the family’s important papers, thinking that would keep his wife from leaving him. Thankfully she had copies of everything on a stick drive in her purse.
Resources
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
1-800-877-3224 (TTY)
www.ndvh.org
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
www.ncadv.org
Recommended Reading
She by S. E. Walker (now available through Amazon.com)
Celebrate Yourself by Dorothy Corkill Briggs
Forgive To Live by Dr. Dick Tibbits with Steve Halliday
Overcoming Doubt, Fear, and Procrastination by Barbara Wright Sykes
The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Surviving Divorce
Notes from a Friend by Tony Robbins
The Secret by Rhonda Byrnes
Part 1 │ Part 2
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