I am thirty-one years old. I was previously in a long term relationship with my son’s father for about six years, until I found out that he was on drugs. I left him when my son was two years old because I knew that it was a terrible situation and not a good environment for me nor my son. I was a single mother for about one year, when I finally decided to be in another relationship with a long time friend of mine (Kevin). I thought that my situation was bad, and I was depressed raising my son by myself. I did not want to be lonely. So that was one of the reasons why I took another chance at this relationship.
Kevin and I were always two different people, liked different things. I am outgoing and like to go out and enjoy myself. He was more quiet, and to himself. Even though we had our differences, I knew that he was the one for me, and that he can balance my life out. He was my mentor and a good provider for me and my son. Two years later, we had a daughter and we continued to be a family. The disagreements of the way we were so different started becoming more and more intense in the house, and all we seemed to do was argue 24/7 around the children. The arguments started getting worse. I would tell him things like: I was using him, he was really not the person for me, and he would say things like: He wishes that I was someone else, and that I am not the woman for him, and that he is looking for a real woman. I am not sure if he really meant these things, but I would say these awful things to him out of anger.
In the middle of all of this, I also cheated on him several times. He never knew about this. He is so sneaky and quiet that I never really knew if he was doing the same. At this time, it may sound funny after all of the arguments and problems that we have been having, but we were looking at different single family homes. I thought that we were just looking, until one day when I was in my room, he told was going the a list of dos and don’ts that I was not supposed to be doing when we move into a new house. For example: no smoking in the garage, keep the house clean, no dishes left in the sink. As if I was a child. Then he told me that he had just closed and signed all the documents on a single family home. I already had the key on my keychain without me even knowing it. From the time that I got pregnant with my daughter, I had been talking about marriage. But it never came because he said that he wanted me to change my ways first. I am not understanding how we can have a single family home and raise a family, but I would still have to change my ways before we could get married.
