If any of the above statements hit a nerve with you, then you know that you need to get help. You can start with saying “no” to their request and standing by it. Do not let them send you on a guilt trip.
If you are becoming financially strapped because you are always aiding your family member in some way without ever being reciprocated, it is time to make some changes about your lifestyle decisions.
Another gage to assist you in saying “no” is how do you feel afterwards. Your body will let you know. Do you feel elated, happy, joyful, light on your feet? Do you feel like rejoicing, or do you feel sad, dejected, confused, sick to your stomach, or wondering why you gave them the money? Notice I said gave and not loaned. Think about it, how many times have you been paid back? If the answer is less than once or twice and you have done this over and over it is time to move on.
Learn how to start spending your money on things that make feel happy or leave you with a good feeling inside, doing everything in moderation of course. If you are in debt get a financial planner to help you to start managing your money better. Listen to the person; do not waste your time if you know you will continue with your old ways. Join a co-dependency group if you are having anxiety over telling the family member(s) no. What is the alternative? It is time to take an inventory of your relationships with relatives and your financial situation. There is no time like the present to make the changes that you so deeply desire to keep your life on track. Ask yourself what it is you that really want to do, and get busy doing it.
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