I am surprised at the number of adoptive parents that put off doing their home study and miss opportunities or forget to update their home study. They find out it is going to cost more to get it done when they needed it done “yesterday.” If you have a home study that was completed more than twelve months ago, contact your home study provider to see when it expires, and document this in your calendar. If it is expired, inquire on the home study update process and cost, and then make a point of getting it down within thirty days.
In over twenty-one years of working in the field of adoption, I have seen and heard of every kind of blunder you could imagine in adoption. Some were made out of ignorance and others out of stubbornness, flat out stupidity, or just procrastination.
It is my hope that by sharing some of these embarrassing mistakes with you, you won’t fall prey to them and your adoption journey will be void of these and filled with more peace and calm without guilt or regrets. Here are the five most common adoption blunders:
1. Not reading your adoption agreement or contract
2. Making decisions from your heart and not your head and heart together.
3. Going against the recommendations of your adoption professional regarding money to a birth mother.
4. Putting off getting your home study complete
5. Going back on your word regarding the contact with a birth mother after your adoption is final.
If you have already made these blunders, you can correct your directions and still find peace. Here are some solutions:
- If you have a contract you have not read, you can correct this by reading it now, if your adoption is not complete. Ask questions of your adoption professional. It is not too late!
- If you have already made decisions with your heart and have heartache to show for it- learn from it and next time, take a deep breath and look at all sides of a situation before you jump in or commit.
