Children’s Book Author Helps Kids Understand Adoption

An ancient Chinese proverb says that there is an invisible red thread that connects those destined to be together. Regardless of time or circumstances the thread may bend or twist, but never break.

Q. Tell me what you know about Jillian Mei’s birth mother. Why did she choose to give up this beautiful little girl when she was only a year old?
A. We have no knowledge of Jillian’s birth mother—none at all. She was abandoned as all the children in China are in secret. Jillian was left in a bamboo basket, wrapped warmly in blankets with a note of her birth date and a few dollars on her at an orphanage gate at three weeks old. She spent the next year of her life with a terrific foster mom until we adopted her at twelve months old. We were given the note left with her and the name of the man that found her early in the morning dusk. The only connection to her birth mom we have is the note and possibly her finding person. Sometimes the finding person may be a family member.

In China there is a one child policy to control population growth. City families are allowed one child and country families two if their first is a girl. Chinese tradition calls for at least one male child per family to carry on the family name and to care for parents in old age as there is no social security. If a poor farming families first child is a girl she will be kept however if the second child is a girl she will be abandoned to try for a boy. In some cases a third child born may be abandoned even if the child is a boy. Exceeding the child limit can lead to a hefty fine the family can’t afford to pay.

The birth mom is forced by her extended family and village elders to produce a son. For the birth mom this is a tragedy. She has no choice. Abandonment gives her baby a chance to be adopted. A few brave birth families have come forward to be interviewed and their suffering over giving up their child will break your heart.