Forty Reasons to Adopt: Part 1

Shortly after I posted a column at CatholicExchange about PADS (Post Adoptive Depression Syndrome), some hinted that my article was unnecessarily discouraging to prospective adoptive parents. 

With more than 500,000 in the United States today needing temporary or permanent homes, I agree that more couples should consider adoption. On the other hand, it does no good to go in “blind.” Information is power, and letting couples know up front that some struggle with the transition and then go on to form happy families. That is information worth knowing. Forewarned is forearmed.

Having said that, there are many good reasons for considering adoption. Here are my top forty reasons for adopting Christopher and Sarah all over again (if we could) and hopefully do it a little smarter the second time around.

1. Kids are natural virtue builders.
They are perfect antidotes to self-absorption and an inordinate sense of self, and bring out (by force) untapped stores of patience and gentleness. Not to mention humility.

2. They add laughter and affection.
Whether it ’s the sight of Sarah clad in glittering loungewear and sunglasses, or the feeling of one of them snuggling close to me at Mass, children have natural gifts that brighten all of life.

3. They are a built-in marriage enhancer.
While some aspects of married love are more difficult to enjoy with a five-year-old permanently camped out on the bedroom floor, others are that much more enjoyable. The “Ewwwwwwwww. Gross!” that a tentative peck elicits frequently inspires DH to come back for seconds, with greater feeling. Then we remind them that we have a license to do this anytime we want, and then it ’s the most beautiful thing in the world.

4. They are a built-in “Get out of ___ free” card.
This works especially well with kids with emotional or behavior challenges. “Well, yes, I can be on your committee ... so long as my children can be there, too.” You ’d be surprise how often my services are suddenly no longer needed.

5. They are built-in conversation starters.
Like many writers, I ’m something of an introvert. I can (and often do) force myself to make small-talk, and I ’ve gotten a lot better at it since joining the “Mommy League.” If I get trapped, I suddenly can hear my child calling me.

6. They tend to make hard-to-love people ... more loveable. 
When they ’re on their best behavior, my kids are pretty cute. I can say this, since I didn ’t have anything to do with the particular arrangement of their genetic code. One look into her chocolate-brown peepers and even the stuffiest soul has offered Sarah a grudging, “My, aren ’t you sweet!” Sometimes yes, sometimes no ... but first impressions are important!

7. They provide a built-in excuse for buying children ’s books and movies.
I have a friend who has five floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, full of children ’s books. I ’m nowhere near that dedicated (my five floor-to-ceilings are a mix of children ’s books and theology tomes). But having two early readers gives me license to browse and read to my heart ’s content. Research, you know.

8. They provide a built-in excuse to trot out my childhood traditions.
Yesterday was “Apple Dumpling Sunday,” the morning after our first fall trip to the orchard. In a few weeks we’ll build gingerbread houses, then the Advent mother’s tea. The whole Christmas cookie marathon. And of course Christopher’s favorite, Green Eggs and Ham on St. Patrick ’s Day.

9. They give me a chance to see my parents in a different light.
My mother was born to be a grandmother. My Dad says so, too. All of her great qualities —her creativity and humor—rise to the surface when the grandkids are around, while other less desirable traits evaporate. It’s easy to smile when you know the urchins can be returned to their parents at any time.

10. Party dresses.
Lucky for me, I have a built-in princess who loves swirls and ribbons and bows. Second only to running around naked.