And You Thought Your Child Was Hard to Handle?

“I didn’t call the doctor.”

“Oh.”

“I mean, babies have been eating poo for thousands of years,” I reasoned, “and it’s not like a big issue. There aren’t public service campaigns that say, like, ‘Poo. It’s what’s not for dinner.’ There aren’t news stories about babies dying from eating their own poo, or studies about how eating poo affects your IQ.”

“That’s true,” Hubs said. “Okay.”

Still, once we’d hung up, I Googled “My baby ate poo!” just to be on the safe side. What I saw relieved me. There were hundreds of screechy posts on parenting and medical forums, and hundreds more responses assuring the panicked mom that visits to the ER were unnecessary, that the baby would probably be fine, that everyone knew someone who’d eaten their own poo, generally when they were small.

But as you can imagine, Bruiser’s culinary adventure was the talk of the Ferrier household last night.

“Wow. He’s the first Ferrier child to eat his own poo. This is going to haunt him for the rest of his life.”

“It really gives new meaning to the term, ‘shit-eating grin,’ doesn’t it?”

“Well from the looks of it, it was chock full of carrots. And he does love carrots … ”

I also knew, of course, that I would have to blog about it. I mean, this isn’t the kind of thing I can keep to myself. Yet I feel a bit guilty. Will this some day come back to haunt him? The fact that he ate his own poo and I shared it with the world? Am I ruining his chances to become a Supreme Court Justice? Or … President of the United States?

Because I have a feeling that “Sources tell us that as a child, Senator John McCain ate his own poo,” for example, would absolutely have an impact on McCain’s chances …

I’m just sayin’.