Ignore the Warnings

The other day I sat across from a mother of two who I had met through a local mom’s club. She didn’t know it, but I invited her over as a research subject. Yes, she was an interesting woman about my age. She even had attended my alma mater. And yes, I wanted to become friends. (I am always happy to find a good friend.) But my main motivation was to find out just how difficult it was to raise two children less than two years apart.

You see I had been struggling with the decision to have a second child. I’ve had baby fever ever since my first child started crawling at nine months but after discussing the prospect of a second child with other mothers of two (or more) I was taken aback by the unfavorable reviews. In fact, the most positive argument FOR having a second baby right away was “Yeah, get it over with. It will suck for the first few years, but after a while they’ll help entertain each other.”

Ouch. This is my life we’re talking about. The “get it over with” philosophy didn’t resonate with me, and I knew I couldn’t be alone. Primarily because so many people CHOOSE to do it. So I held on tightly to my optimism, smiled sympathetically at my new friend and popped the question, “So, how is it with two?”

Expecting complaints about the sleepless nights with a newborn followed by exhausting days chasing her toddler, I was delighted to hear her simple and calm answer,  “It’s not nearly as bad as people said it would be … not bad at all,” she said.

This is the answer I had been searching for—the reason I had kept asking. It’s just too bad I had to ask so many people before hearing it. But, you know, this isn’t the first time I’ve found a silver lining in the dark cloud of motherhood.

I can’t tell you how many times I heard the mantra that, “No baby sleeps through the night.” Actually, mind does and has since about six weeks of age.