Preparing Your Toddler for Another Baby

She also stresses that parents need to teach the toddler the right way to hug and kiss a baby.

“An enthusiastic toddler can be rough,” she says. “It is really a mistake to interpret that as sibling rivalry.”

Try to use positive reinforcement instead of always shouting “No!” at your toddler.

“It creates resentment if the toddler always feels like he is going to get in trouble when he is around the baby,” Linda says.

And again, be realistic. It is normal for a child to regress and to show some anger after a new baby arrives.

Tera says her biggest challenge was when Shelby wanted to hug her little brother too much and help too much. She wanted to make sure Shelby didn’t try to pick him up until he was older and had stronger neck muscles, at around three months.

Her solution was to talk about how to hold Jacob and why. “I might say, ‘I understand you love your brother but let me explain why that could hurt his neck.’”

As for one-on-one time, Tera recommends that mothers try to find things to do with each child, even if it is just a trip to the store. She has taken her daughter on weekend trips, a treat for them both, she says.

She says that the little moments when Shelby is especially sweet to Jacob make it all worthwhile. She remembers one day when Shelby had gotten to her crying baby brother first.

Shelby, in a soothing voice, was whispering to him, “It’s okay, little guy, it’s okay.”

And Tera knew then, that somehow, it all would be.