Mother’s Day is like January 1st for me. It’s the day I stop (preferably in a spa, with champagne and chocolate-dipped strawberries to sustain me) and evaluate my past year of parenting. I consider my highs and my lows, wipe the slate if necessary, and then resolve to be a better mother next year.
Here are ten things I’m working on not doing for my next parenting year:
1) I will not roll my eyes when my son asks me to read his favorite Curious George story for the fourth time in a row. I will also stop referring to the Man in the Yellow Hat as the Man in the Yellow Underpants.
2) I will stop using my licked finger to clean pasta stains or other smudges from my ten-year-old’s face. I will also refrain from fixing his hair and adjusting the waist of his pants when his friends are present.
3) I will stop undermining my husband’s parenting tactics by saying “good one!” and slapping our ten-year-old a high-five when he talks back. I will also stop encouraging the boys to turn up the radio when Dad asks them to do something.
4) I will stop waking my older son up, ten minutes after he has fallen asleep, to ask if he is asleep yet.
5) I will make sure my black knickers do not static-stick to the velcro of my son’s jacket after laundering. Addendum: I will never again allow him to walk to the school corner before bringing the knickers to his attention.
6) I will refrain from rapping and beatboxing bedtime songs, stories, and prayers or at the very least I will contain my routine to one number.
7) I will stop trying to sway my disciplined ten-year-old from his Lenten sacrifices, just so I’ll have company in my own lapses.
8) I will stop pretending my kids are younger or that I am older to avoid those doing-the-math glances (no I was not pregnant at thirteen).
