Q: I am really at a loss with my four-year old. She’s had severe nightmares that keep her and the whole house up all night. Ever since, she is afraid to go anywhere without me, i.e. the bathroom, bedroom, any part of the house, especially her bedroom. We’ve lived in this house for over three years and have two dogs and have had similar sleep issues after visits with her dad and grandma. There’s always an issue about how much is dream-related. Even daycare has mentioned that she’s emotional and not as bouncy. I don’t know what to do or how to help.
A: Nightmares are dreams involving imagined dangers and/or threats. Usually occurring in the middle of the night or early morning, scary images or figures (monsters, ghosts, as “bad” people, animals) are common as are dreams about loss of control or fear of injury. Children generally do not scream out or move around while they are having a nightmare. After it wakes up the child (and parents!), he generally remembers the dream, is oriented to his surroundings, and, after a full dose of TLC from his blurry-eyed parents, calms down.
Although nightmares may occur at any age, they are most common in preschoolers (occurring in up to fifty percent with three to six-year-olds), an age at which a child’s imagination is most active and fears are normal.
Although nightmares are a normal part of coping and growing up, “nightmare disorder” is a more intense and frequently-occurring condition causing problems with everyday life. Likewise, “night terrors” are different from nightmares. These involve episodes of extreme panic (with increased heart rate, perspiration, and wide-eyed fright) where children cry out and move around, at times sleepwalking or running, during the dream. It is difficult to awake and calm down this confused child, who generally doesn’t remember the disturbing dream.
Exactly what causes nightmares is unknown, however they may be related to:
- inadequate sleep or being too tired
- conflicts, stress, or anxiety surrounding events such as starting school, moving to a new neighborhood, living through marital tension or a divorce
