Bullies

Help Them Learn/Improve Social Skills - Children who have a close group of friends are less likely to get bullied.  The strength in numbers philosophy I guess.  Here again you can practice these skills at home, with a sibling, yourself, a stuffed animal, or whatever works) by introducing themselves, things to talk about, etc.  Have friends over or make play-dates!  After your child has done a sport or activity have them meet with the kids afterwards as they don’t socialize very much during the actual activity.  Teach them how to initiate a conversation, laugh at themselves, and notice things about other people.  Talk to them about what a true friend is and isn’t so they don’t just fall into the wanting to be with the cool kids group just because.  Encourage them to make new friends as the song goes “Make new friends but keep the old.  One is silver and the other gold”.  And get to know your child’s friend’s (and their parents).  Yes, they may need a parent to help them navigate around people that are good for them and people that are not!

 Some resources:

• www.bullysafeusa.com/
• The Friendship Factorby Kenneth Rubin Ph.D and Andrea Thompson
• Raising Courageous Kids by Charles A. Smith
• US Department of Education
• King of the Playground by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

If your child is the culprit, you will want to look at where the aggression is coming from, how often, what the school (coach, etc) can do, and help them with all the items above as a bully is not happy with who they are.  They also need social skills and confidence building.  You may also have to decide if counseling would be appropriate.

Make no mistake bullying happens as a child and as an adult.  Learning the skills to deal with people with this aggression can be useful now and in the future.

Disclaimer- I have no training in counseling and this in no way should replace professional help.  This is just coming from one Mom to another.