Tragedy and Kids – Talking to Kids About Difficult Topics

In the recent months and years we have been faced with extreme issues of tragedy:

·        The attacks of 9/11

·        The tsunami in Asia

·        The extreme floods in New Orleans.

It is hard enough for us as adults to understand these tragedies; for children they can be extremely overwhelming. But children do not just look at large disasters like these as tragedies. Sometimes, simple things in their lives are tragic to them, even if we as adults don’t view them that way.

A child that loses a parent is, of course, going to view it as a tragic event. But a child who finds out his parents are adopting a new brother or sister can view that as a tragedy also. As adults, we need to hone in on our children’s feelings and help them work through their issues of tragedy and loss even if it is hard for us to understand their views.

Some important ways to help a child deal with their feelings of loss can include:

Talking—Let your child talk about what is bothering them. Don’t just talk about the specific thing that they perceive as loss. Let the child talk about all aspects of their life right now. Ask questions and let them ask you questions.

Reassure—Don’t just tell them everything is going to be fine. Talk with them about how things will be different and how by working together you can make everything ok. Children need to know the specifics. Let them explain what will make them feel like everything is ok.

Routine—Try to keep their regular routine intact. Even if some things have to change, try to keep as many routines as possible.

Relax—Simple relaxation exercises like going for a walk, or even just sitting in a quiet place with their eyes closed and taking some deep breaths can help children feel more in control of their emotions.

Fun—Kids need to have fun no matter what kinds of trauma or loss they are dealing with. Offering a child some markers and blank paper can really help them unload their feelings. Also, think of physical activities like sports or just playing catch. It is easier for a child to open up when they are concentrating on catching a ball and not so worried about answering questions correctly or saying the right or wrong things.