- Can you squelch a tantrum in two seconds flat?
- How about without the bribe of M&Ms or a trip to Disneyland?
- Or, how do you un-suction wailing child from filthy floor and get arched body and all stiff appendages into his car seat without causing more commotion?
At the end of the day any off-court coaching and heckling is what’s remembered. Retreats offside are defeated and deflated.
Parenting is the Mt. Olympus of all endurance sports, even without the stress of fellow competitors sizing you up. It tests you physically, emotionally, psychologically, socially.
You may customize accordingly.
One minute you’re hurdling high above a sandbox crowded with toddlers to remove a small plastic thing from your baby’s mouth. The next you’re hoisting eight-ton bags of groceries and solid child in a precarious balancing act to the car, made that much more physically demanding if said child is asleep, thereby adding an additional 1,899 pounds to the exercise.
Whew!
A chess game of wills and wants can command a full morning and then in a split-second you find yourself in a 100-yard sprint to the curb of a busy intersection, in heels.
But with practice comes mastery, such as my relaxed, but firm, body hold that allows you to calmly leave a bustling restaurant with a squirming child, a technique that I should teach the U.S. Olympic Wrestling Team. Note to self: add to daily To-Do List, item 3,000,053-A.
But is this sport ever really mastered?
Do we ever find ourselves standing proudly on a platform knowing we’ve succeeded, our family beaming from the stands?
Perhaps, in the sport of parenting just coming to practice—especially after a taxing yesterday with wincing memories of fumbles and poor calculations and just trying to do better—means that you’ve succeeded.
And then there are those glorious, rejuvenating moments when little arms wrapped around your neck can make you feel just as victorious as any medal would, even an Olympic gold.
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