Pushover Parenting

The five-year-old hooligan continues howling as he elbows past me at Macy’s, nearly knocking over my umbrella stroller in the process. “I WON’T! AAAGH!”

“Connor!” his mother says futilely, brushing me as she chases after him. “Connor, please. You can have chocolate when you get home, Okay? Please, Connor.”

We’ve all seen them … pushover parents. Some of them believe they have angels who can do no wrong, others realize their kids misbehave but rather than meting out punishment, they prefer to “discuss” their children’s actions with them as though they were mini-adults.

Pushover parenting has become the norm if you think about it, reinforced on talk shows and in movies and magazines. It’s largely responsible for the growing popularity of wacky ideas like unschooling (an educational philosophy that asserts “the child knows best” and should decide on his own when, what and whether he wants to learn), and it’s also the reason why Bratz, baby beauty pageants, and Club Hoochylu exist. Pushover parents can’t say no to a child who demands a Bling Bling Barbie or a pair of pants with “Juicy” on the butt. That’s why pushover parents are the ultimate targets of most toy and children’s clothing manufacturers.

The fact is, pushover parents make my job a lot harder than it should be. When my three-year-old daughter acts up in public, reasoning with her doesn’t work half as well as a well-practiced evil eye coupled with my personal warning phrase, “Straighten. Up. Now.” delivered in a deep and ominous tone. It generally results in a petulant look, a few seconds of silence, and a tiny, “I’m sorry, Mommy,” which is good enough for me. In fact, I see absolutely nothing wrong with my strategy, but I sure get looks from the Pushover Parents when I have to put it to use.

Can you believe how she talks to her child? Their pitying glances say. Why, I’d never talk to Hayden like that. Of course, Hayden just knocked over a display of Chef Boyardee cans, but at least he has a mommy who treats him as though he just might be the next Dalai Lama.

When my little ones get a bit older, I can tell already that pushover parents are going to be the absolute bane of my existence, because they’ll be the ones my kids expect me to live up to on a day-to-day basis.

“Connor’s mommy let’s him eat Lucky Charms. Why do we have to get the store brand?”

“Mom, please let me wear lipstick to school! Katie’s mommy lets her wear it!”

And with two stepdaughters, I know from seeing their schoolmates in action that the children of pushover parents grow up to become true horrors.