I look into his eyes and I see the pain. I wish I could take it away but I can’t. I can only hope that it makes him stronger.
Someday he will face the pain and the man that did this to him and us. In fourteen years, Ry (as he likes to be called) has had to endure a lot of pain. He watched his father cause pain to his older brother and me, and as each day goes by I see with sadness, a lot of anger and frustration growing deep within him. He struggled everyday to understand the emotions that were growing within him. His pain has been growing and growing more and more everyday. His own father is the one that caused all this pain; he saw nothing wrong with leaving his son and moving to another state. He was acting like leaving was normal and would not disrupt his little son’s life. Moving to another city is one thing but moving nine hours is another story completely.
How can you continue to have a life with your son when he doesn’t even talk to him but maybe once a week? Summer visitation, Christmas, and spring break are hardly time to bond with a child. I think to myself, “ Don’t act like you want to be a part of his life and then think that paying only $7,500 a year entitles you to know him ... ” He won’t help pay for braces or trips that his son wants to go on for school. Why?? Why can’t he see that this is for his/our son? I am not asking him to buy me a new house or a fancy car. I am not even asking for him to be a good father. He gave that up when he walked away from Ry. He is not a father when he thinks about himself only and not the needs of the child. I was told I am money hungry, well I guess I am because I want what is rightfully Ry’s.
When he goes to see his father for summer visitation his father will take away his ability to communicate with me. He will take away his cell phone and not give him e-mails that I send. He thinks he is this great man that loves his son but I am the one that is always here and loves our son unconditionally. That man will argue with me at any given chance and will cause as much pain as possible. He is a shallow man and does not understand that Ry and his needs should always come first. Ry has so much anger building in his heart and contempt for the struggles that he is forced to undergo because of a man that wants to be so great.
