You may have missed this YouTube classic, unless you have elementary school-age children who love anything Star Wars. My fourth-grade daughter brought home this fresh link thanks to the recommendations of nine-year-old boys at her school. It’s funny how things have changed—when I was her age, we talked about what we watched the night before on Happy Days or Laverne and Shirley. Now it is all about funny YouTube clips, hip iPod tunes, and Nintendo DS downloads. Or Pokemon cards, which is a world into which I cannot or will not venture, to the chagrin of my seven-year-old son.
Grocery Store Wars is a hilarious parody produced by Free Range Studios courtesy of the Organic Trade Association. This live-vegetable footage features Cuke Skywalker, Obi One Cannoli, Princess Lettuce, Ham Solo, and Chew Broccoli to battle against the evil supermarket practices of pesticides and irradiated food. While I still get a chuckle whenever I hear the name Luke suggested for expectant parents (“Luke, I’m your father!”), this is not the battle to which I am referring. I’m talking about my most recent voyage to my oft-frequented destination for a woman with four children: the grocery store.
It is a rare occasion to leave my house unaccompanied by my toddlers, and my weekly trip—the modern day equivalent of hunting and gatherin—is no exception. At least today, we have molded plastic grocery carts shaped like racecars, complete with two steering wheels—ideal for children who cannot or will not grasp the concept of taking turns or sharing. Heaven help me if I have to go more often than once a week because that makes for a very long week. With the fun of riding in the cart, free balloons, and more snacks than mom can open before even reaching the checkout stand, you might imagine that there would be enough distractions to make it through a list of twenty-items-or-less without World War III breaking out. That would be the case if you had any children other than the LeBleu girls. We have our own episode of Grocery Store Wars played out before the suburban shoppers of northwest Austin on a weekly basis.
It starts out innocently and hopeful enough, going through the produce section with a second stop in the bakery for a “sweet” and appeasement for the duration of the trip. They look so picturesque sitting together, my two blonde beauties; one just turned three, and the other almost two. Before becoming a parent, I always fantasized about having twins (the efficiency of it, after all!). Being a twin myself and very close to my sister, I felt it would be great to have a built-in-playmate, after the busyness and sleepless nights of the first year, of course. Then I had children and had friends who had twins and was so grateful that I had managed to dodge that bullet. How did they manage? I always say an extra prayer of thanksgiving on Mother’s Day that my mom had managed to deal successfully with my sister and me, as well as my older brother, who is not more than two years older than us.
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