The Other Three Rs: Respect, Reverence, and Reflection

Growing up, religion wasn’t a big part of our family. For us, religion was more about the food, the decorations, and the presents than any spiritual story.

As a child, my mom was raised an Orthodox Jew. My dad was raised a Baptist. They married and decided to mix their two religious practices together. Our white-flocked artificial Christmas tree adorned with blue ornaments (the Chanukah colors) stood nearby to our menorah. Our Christmas Eve dinner consisted of ham and potato latkes. We mish-mashed Easter and Passover (Eastover) and didn’t attend church or temple.
My mom explained that religion followed the mother. So because she was Jewish, I was Jewish. Well, Jewish with a disclaimer—I was Jewish, but not religious.

My mom took it a step further and told me that it didn’t matter what our religion was—God was still there for us. We didn’t have to go into any particular building to pray. If we felt we needed to, all we had to do was talk to God and God would be there listening.

She also taught me that all religions, no matter their holidays, food choices, or sacred text followed the same basic rules: be honest, be fair and kind, and treat others like you want to be treated. Don’t lie; don’t cheat.

Now I’m all grown-up and married to an African-American man who, as a child, regularly attended church. And we’re making our own mixed-up holiday traditions. He helps me light the menorah, although I can’t recite the prayer. Instead, we say, “Happy Chanukah” and kiss. Across the room, our fresh Christmas tree stands tall.

So while others may frown upon my untraditional religious upbringing, I’m okay with it. I do believe in faith and a higher power. I believe certain things are out of our control. And I firmly believe that there’s not a God out there who would condone killing another human being in the name of religion.

I grew up in a large city where diversity was the norm. As a public school teacher in the same large city, my class often looks like a mini-United Nations. It is because my students are so diverse, speaking different languages, practicing different religions, having family in all parts of the world, that often our academic lessons go off tangent and become life lessons as well.