“We’ve also learned that most predators aren’t posing as children but are pretty up front about their intentions. The good news is that most teens simply ignore adults who approach them online or block or delete them. They’re also beginning to make their profiles private—just for friends. Pew Internet found that 66 percent of teens with profiles are using their privacy settings,” Goodstein adds.
While this is good news, it doesn’t let parents off the hook. Goodstein’s book helps parents navigate this new world and helps them better monitor it and set limits for their children—just as they would do with any other activity.
“What parents should really be doing is engaging with their teens to make sure that they understand the public and permanent nature of the Internet—that they think about what they are posting and who might find it before they hit publish,” Goodstein adds.
So the basic rules learned in elementary school still hold true online. Treat others as you would like to be treated. If you aren’t a bully on the playground, you don’t become one online. If you don’t talk with strangers at the mall, you don’t talk to strangers online. Talking with children about what they are experiencing is important, but only if parents can truly understand and not threaten teens that they’ll “pull the plug if something bad happens,” Goodstein says. This way, children are more likely to open up about what they are reading or seeing online.
And, if a parent is truly curious and concerned, reading a child’s blog is fair game as a blog is in the public domain—so it isn’t the same as sneaking into a child’s room and reading her journal. It’s a good idea, however, to give your teen a heads up or to ask if he would mind if you read it. Surprisingly, Goodstein says this has actually helped some parents get to know their teens much better; teens, like many adults, can be more comfortable typing than talking.
Goodstein says she is thrilled to bring her message of “Don’t panic” to as many parents in the United States as possible, but at the same time, her book is chock full of advice on setting limits and how to best manage children’s time and activities online.
